Today I’m making a change to my blog. Normally today I would be talking about a documentary that I like and how it relates to my film but that’s gonna change. Starting Sunday August 5th through August 13 I start working on another film that I’ve talked about called “Deadly Embrace” as 2nd assistant director. I will continue to post on Friday’s but I’m gonna be posting everyday starting next Monday while working on Deadly Embrace just to give you all updates on what’s going on with the film and my role on the set. I’m also thinking about posting photos and maybe videos on my experience but I haven’t decided yet. Thank you all for your continued support of my blog and my documentary.
This past Tuesday was a special occasion for me. Not only was it my birthday but I turned 30, an accomplishment that I never thought I would reach. I mean I’ve envisioned reaching this milestone in my life but when you actually reach that age it’s still surprising. I doing things in my life now that five or ten years ago I would’ve never imagined. I’m directing a documentary about my life, I’m about to take part in an actual film, and I’m preparing my life after college. There’s also certain things in my life that I now want that I didn’t want five or ten years ago.
I’m at a point in my life now where I want a relationship. I want someone who I love, who understands who I am as a person, and supports me and my goals in life. I’m also at a point where I want to be a success at everything that I do and I truly believe that with my talents I can do that. I’m absolutely happy that I’m 30, I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my life thus far and I’m looking forward to the next 30 years of my life.
Before I go, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has had a great influence on my life so far. I’ve met so many awesome people who have helped me in my life, who have given me great advice, and who have accepted me as their friend. I have support system from my friends, my family, friends from DePaul
I been working on these questions for this interview session that I plan to do for my film. This to me is the hardest part of my film because it puts me in front of the camera instead of behind the camera and in all honesty I’m scared because I’m putting myself out there for people to get to know the real me. Now, I can’t be scared because this what I wanted to do, this is the point of the film, to show people who I am but in writing these questions I feel that I’m exposing myself way too much. I feel that when I do this session and I start talking to the camera, I might expose my real feelings for people who I really care about and are important to me in my life.
Let me tell you all something a friend of mine once said to me that “you always wanted to say something but you keep it all inside” and that’s true. When it comes to telling people how I feel about them I have a hard time expressing my feelings to others because I fear that it could ruin long-lasting friendships that I’ve made in my life so I keep those feelings to myself. It protects me and the people who I care about from finding out the truth but it’s really not fair to the people I care about and to me because it makes it seem like I’m hiding something and that’s not the case.
I truly love these people who are in my life but it’s just hard for me to not only express my feelings to them but to tell these people who I love them. I don’t know what to expect when I do this interview session but the good thing is that I got good people who are gonna help me through this process because if I didn’t have them, this interview session would be an emotional disaster.